Bullying and Sikh Children
In 1993 I wrote an article in the Sikh Informer magazine (the magazine was set with with the support of Guru Nanak Gurdwara on Holy Bones in Leicester) in response to a boy who was getting bullied in school because he faith to his Sikh faith. I was deeply sadden and touched by his story that I organised a talk on how to deal with bullying as a Sikh and wrote in response to the letter, my article was why as Sikhs we have long hair, the origins, and how to deal with bullying at school. 16 years on unforutnatley little has changed
Only a few years ago, now with young boys of my own, I heard the similar distress story and it caused me much distress and heartache to hear him suffer. At that time, I spoke to many parents and many had the same story to tell. Summary of the actions included:
1. Parents organising talks at schools.
2. Building children confidence so they are able to deal with bullying.
3. Cutting there hair, this unfortunately was a common response.
As my background is in research and I tried very hard unsuccessfully to get some research organised finding out nationally what the problem was, if not internationally, I was dismayed to see it was a problem of global significance, a boy in America had his hair set on fire…. My goal was simple, I wanted to good research conducted with the view highlighted the extend of the problem, followed up with acknowledgement in schools staff should look out for signs of bullying in Sikh children with paktas.
Meanwhile, I wrote a detailed letter to the teacher and headmaster, luckily the problem was dealt with effectively and the school was supportive. In addition to this I wanted my son with be with other Sikh children and gain some confidence about his history and background, luckily again a local Gurdwara was organising talks with kids, this group later set up the Mata Sahib Kaur Academy, and he has learnt much from going there, primarily doing Simran with other children, arts and exercise.
But there is support online for parents and children, but more needs to be done, we need to push for research, we need to identify separated from ‘Indians’ on the census, we need more qualitative to understand the personal effect on families and children and quantitative to appreciate the widespread extend of the problem. We need to ensure schools know that bullying of Sikh children is widespread and many children keep quiet and suffer in silence.
Our appearance is aesthetically displeasing to the western eye because body hair is very unattractive, many Sikh girls themselves do not want men with full beards and turbans, why, it is a symbol for them of restrictions placed upon there freedom. A symbol of backwardness, a symbol of not being trendy, they want to be seen advancing in Western society not carrying with them a symbol, now what is seen as terrorism. A dear friend suggested I should write an article suggesting it is great to have relationship and marry Sikh men with full beards and turbans, It is true women should see beyond appearance, but so should men.
However, how we look is important, it defines what group we belong to where our loyalties lie primarily.
Themes for discussion and questions for Sikh parents
1. If you have children, has your child suffered as a result of keeping to there faith? (this can include girls as many girls have facial hair and can be teased at school because of this)
2. How did you deal with the harassment?
a. Speaking to the school teachers?
b. Requesting school bullying policy?
c. Presentation to school of Sikhi?
d. Cutting hair?
3. If you cut your childs hair? Has your child’s bullying stopped, or has it continued?
4. Would you like support and help to deal with bullying at school?
More...
In 1993 I wrote an article in the Sikh Informer magazine (the magazine was set with with the support of Guru Nanak Gurdwara on Holy Bones in Leicester) in response to a boy who was getting bullied in school because he faith to his Sikh faith. I was deeply sadden and touched by his story that I organised a talk on how to deal with bullying as a Sikh and wrote in response to the letter, my article was why as Sikhs we have long hair, the origins, and how to deal with bullying at school. 16 years on unforutnatley little has changed
Only a few years ago, now with young boys of my own, I heard the similar distress story and it caused me much distress and heartache to hear him suffer. At that time, I spoke to many parents and many had the same story to tell. Summary of the actions included:
1. Parents organising talks at schools.
2. Building children confidence so they are able to deal with bullying.
3. Cutting there hair, this unfortunately was a common response.
As my background is in research and I tried very hard unsuccessfully to get some research organised finding out nationally what the problem was, if not internationally, I was dismayed to see it was a problem of global significance, a boy in America had his hair set on fire…. My goal was simple, I wanted to good research conducted with the view highlighted the extend of the problem, followed up with acknowledgement in schools staff should look out for signs of bullying in Sikh children with paktas.
Meanwhile, I wrote a detailed letter to the teacher and headmaster, luckily the problem was dealt with effectively and the school was supportive. In addition to this I wanted my son with be with other Sikh children and gain some confidence about his history and background, luckily again a local Gurdwara was organising talks with kids, this group later set up the Mata Sahib Kaur Academy, and he has learnt much from going there, primarily doing Simran with other children, arts and exercise.
But there is support online for parents and children, but more needs to be done, we need to push for research, we need to identify separated from ‘Indians’ on the census, we need more qualitative to understand the personal effect on families and children and quantitative to appreciate the widespread extend of the problem. We need to ensure schools know that bullying of Sikh children is widespread and many children keep quiet and suffer in silence.
Our appearance is aesthetically displeasing to the western eye because body hair is very unattractive, many Sikh girls themselves do not want men with full beards and turbans, why, it is a symbol for them of restrictions placed upon there freedom. A symbol of backwardness, a symbol of not being trendy, they want to be seen advancing in Western society not carrying with them a symbol, now what is seen as terrorism. A dear friend suggested I should write an article suggesting it is great to have relationship and marry Sikh men with full beards and turbans, It is true women should see beyond appearance, but so should men.
However, how we look is important, it defines what group we belong to where our loyalties lie primarily.
Themes for discussion and questions for Sikh parents
1. If you have children, has your child suffered as a result of keeping to there faith? (this can include girls as many girls have facial hair and can be teased at school because of this)
2. How did you deal with the harassment?
a. Speaking to the school teachers?
b. Requesting school bullying policy?
c. Presentation to school of Sikhi?
d. Cutting hair?
3. If you cut your childs hair? Has your child’s bullying stopped, or has it continued?
4. Would you like support and help to deal with bullying at school?
More...