Gurfateh
When I first wandered here, I was an convinced that there was no god for me, just a wolf and a man. The wolf man theory worked well enough, as a wolf I was lustful, driven, egoistical, proud and confident. As a man, gentle, compassionate, caring, modest and loving.
Having made the decision to merge the two personalities made my wife extremely happy, as she often comments that sometimes she is never quite sure who she is coming home to. However the arrangement did work well, as I could play the 'game' when needed and still be true to the man within.
The merging of these two, and submission of the self to the creator, the eternal one, that which is everywhere in everything, was achieved largely through this forum with the support of my dear wife and parents, however, in this new merged personality, I feel that the path to enlightenment through sikhism has turned me into a clown. I do not have huge issues being a clown, it was one of the traits of my being a man not to take anything too seriously, however finding knowledge within sikhi has put everything in a different light.
I take things quite seriously, I take sikhi very seriously, I do not feel it is something I can just pay lip service to, below is a list of the facets I am adhering to and the consequences
Honesty-being honest is not that hard, it is the consequences in others that can be hard, to be honest is to respect the truth, and be unafraid of lies and dishonesty. To be honest and truthful, has to be done with some tact and diplomacy, end result, for me anyway, it has to be delivered with humour in a way that is self deprecating. Result-Clown
Pride and ego-Although I have flirted with lack of pride and ego in the past, I am now taking these to new heights, I am now nothing, I am a vessel filled with a sense of wonder at the power of the creator, the love of people close to me, and the desire to provide and protect those who I love, I feel able to love complete strangers and provide assistance to anyone in need, provided I am able to see the creator within. the absence of the creator, to me, is a sign that my help will do more harm than good. Some people confuse my attempts at humility and desire to help with stupidity, Result-clown
Work and money, 12 months ago, I was a consultant to 9 large local companies, finding it more and more difficult to keep playing the game, as time went on, I walked out on each contract, as I found my business associates more and more disgusting in the pursuit of money over anything else, so I have a little shop, that looks like a junk shop, where I provide cheap repairs. I am free, but me and my wife have both had to get to used to living quite cheaply, it means little things make us happy, free things, walking the dogs, spending hours on sunday at the sea life centre, talking etc. Freedom comes at a price, rejection of the game of business, can only result in more clownery.
Arguments and disagreements, I do not argue, I hate arguing, and I hate the feeling in your heart when you have disagreed with someone and there is bad feeling. I will do anything to avoid this, some might say you should stick to your guns, be yourself, be ready to take up arms to support your fight, I personally believe that every argument or fight I have ever had, was the result of one of us being in a 'bad place'. People say and act sometimes in a way that is not really them, when they are in a bad mood, or ill, or angry, what is the point of giving any relevance or importance to these words and actions. I always say 'what can we do to get things back to the way they were before all this' and this normally has the result that the other party gets confused, they want a fight, not resolution, but again, humour helps, I have escaped several beatings thanks to the clown, however I have also found that avoiding such people, or situations also works well. Result-Clown
Laughter- I have always loved the sound of laughter, before I became a full time clown, when I was only part time, I genuinely believed that people just always laughed, it was my wife that pointed out to me that I made people laugh, I cannot help it, and now, I am worse, lets face it , in this meaningless life, other than bonding with the creator, and loving those around you, what else is there? cars, houses, money, never made me happy, only a clown would reject a life of money and status for a lifetime of hearing others laugh
Living, there is so much to do in this world, technology has brought us so much, some of us aspire after the latest phone/car, but really living is no different to the time of the gurus. we have the same problems that people has then, status, money, pride, family, validation from peers. They found a way to liberate themselves from it all, and imparted it to us, we flirt with it, try and follow the same road, but without the hunger and need that drove those before us to find it. Living, my mother would say, is very hard, and she was right, my heart breaks for anyone whose life is dominated by the need for acceptance, whose living depends on lies and games, whose marriage is haunted by thoughts of bliss elsewhere, those that have constructed elaborate personalities to hide the fears and inadequate feelings within, such perfect lives on the outside, living skin and flesh on a dung frame
Am I in bliss? I am free, but not in bliss, the next step up from clownism is fully fledged sikhism, where these ideals and theories can be sharpened up, to be a fully fledged keshdhari, non drinking, perfect disciple of the power that is all, is to stand as a beacon to others, like a lighthouse, I am Khalsa, I am here to help and inspire, but till then, it is the clowns path I follow
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When I first wandered here, I was an convinced that there was no god for me, just a wolf and a man. The wolf man theory worked well enough, as a wolf I was lustful, driven, egoistical, proud and confident. As a man, gentle, compassionate, caring, modest and loving.
Having made the decision to merge the two personalities made my wife extremely happy, as she often comments that sometimes she is never quite sure who she is coming home to. However the arrangement did work well, as I could play the 'game' when needed and still be true to the man within.
The merging of these two, and submission of the self to the creator, the eternal one, that which is everywhere in everything, was achieved largely through this forum with the support of my dear wife and parents, however, in this new merged personality, I feel that the path to enlightenment through sikhism has turned me into a clown. I do not have huge issues being a clown, it was one of the traits of my being a man not to take anything too seriously, however finding knowledge within sikhi has put everything in a different light.
I take things quite seriously, I take sikhi very seriously, I do not feel it is something I can just pay lip service to, below is a list of the facets I am adhering to and the consequences
Honesty-being honest is not that hard, it is the consequences in others that can be hard, to be honest is to respect the truth, and be unafraid of lies and dishonesty. To be honest and truthful, has to be done with some tact and diplomacy, end result, for me anyway, it has to be delivered with humour in a way that is self deprecating. Result-Clown
Pride and ego-Although I have flirted with lack of pride and ego in the past, I am now taking these to new heights, I am now nothing, I am a vessel filled with a sense of wonder at the power of the creator, the love of people close to me, and the desire to provide and protect those who I love, I feel able to love complete strangers and provide assistance to anyone in need, provided I am able to see the creator within. the absence of the creator, to me, is a sign that my help will do more harm than good. Some people confuse my attempts at humility and desire to help with stupidity, Result-clown
Work and money, 12 months ago, I was a consultant to 9 large local companies, finding it more and more difficult to keep playing the game, as time went on, I walked out on each contract, as I found my business associates more and more disgusting in the pursuit of money over anything else, so I have a little shop, that looks like a junk shop, where I provide cheap repairs. I am free, but me and my wife have both had to get to used to living quite cheaply, it means little things make us happy, free things, walking the dogs, spending hours on sunday at the sea life centre, talking etc. Freedom comes at a price, rejection of the game of business, can only result in more clownery.
Arguments and disagreements, I do not argue, I hate arguing, and I hate the feeling in your heart when you have disagreed with someone and there is bad feeling. I will do anything to avoid this, some might say you should stick to your guns, be yourself, be ready to take up arms to support your fight, I personally believe that every argument or fight I have ever had, was the result of one of us being in a 'bad place'. People say and act sometimes in a way that is not really them, when they are in a bad mood, or ill, or angry, what is the point of giving any relevance or importance to these words and actions. I always say 'what can we do to get things back to the way they were before all this' and this normally has the result that the other party gets confused, they want a fight, not resolution, but again, humour helps, I have escaped several beatings thanks to the clown, however I have also found that avoiding such people, or situations also works well. Result-Clown
Laughter- I have always loved the sound of laughter, before I became a full time clown, when I was only part time, I genuinely believed that people just always laughed, it was my wife that pointed out to me that I made people laugh, I cannot help it, and now, I am worse, lets face it , in this meaningless life, other than bonding with the creator, and loving those around you, what else is there? cars, houses, money, never made me happy, only a clown would reject a life of money and status for a lifetime of hearing others laugh
Living, there is so much to do in this world, technology has brought us so much, some of us aspire after the latest phone/car, but really living is no different to the time of the gurus. we have the same problems that people has then, status, money, pride, family, validation from peers. They found a way to liberate themselves from it all, and imparted it to us, we flirt with it, try and follow the same road, but without the hunger and need that drove those before us to find it. Living, my mother would say, is very hard, and she was right, my heart breaks for anyone whose life is dominated by the need for acceptance, whose living depends on lies and games, whose marriage is haunted by thoughts of bliss elsewhere, those that have constructed elaborate personalities to hide the fears and inadequate feelings within, such perfect lives on the outside, living skin and flesh on a dung frame
Am I in bliss? I am free, but not in bliss, the next step up from clownism is fully fledged sikhism, where these ideals and theories can be sharpened up, to be a fully fledged keshdhari, non drinking, perfect disciple of the power that is all, is to stand as a beacon to others, like a lighthouse, I am Khalsa, I am here to help and inspire, but till then, it is the clowns path I follow
More...